I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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