I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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