rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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