I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
