and she was petting her beer can
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Houston, we have a squirter
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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