I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
