they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
