i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
