Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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