either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
