I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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