I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
