I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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