At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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