I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
