They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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