you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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