What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
