But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
