She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I need moral support for this bender
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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