Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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