I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
