Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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