I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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