His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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