I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
