What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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