Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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