You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
