Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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