Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize