no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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