It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
