it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
