Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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