Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
