I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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