Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
