Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
