she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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