its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
