So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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