I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
