I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
