told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
