exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
