How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize