i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
