Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
