The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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