Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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