Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize