a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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