I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize