I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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