White coat. Heels.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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