I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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