Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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