sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize