I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
